Poem 4/30

Trust
Nature
Connected
Sure
Source
Time
Patience
Waiting
Willing
Yes
Being
Alive
Still
Soft
Pause
Landed on finger
Tentative
Cautious
Willing
Nature
Yes
Composed
Flurry
Feathers
Alive
Live
Fly
Wind
Wings
Knowing
Beyond knowledge experience
Chord of Being
Alive
Yes
More
Yes
Friend
Yes
We
Yes
Connected
Yes


The picture above is a friend, whose husband patiently took this picture to not scare off her friend that is a big blue Scrub Jay who comes to eat peanuts from her hand.

3/3 and I've caught up for the day

Evening brings quiet

Release of all that is past

Gone to sleep like you

Poem 2/30

It's 6:12 pm and I have learned of your death from third hand sources and overheard phone calls. 
You and I were never friends and never will be.
We passed and never really spoken
unless is was about the dog
or the noise
or the indifference.
I called the police for you when he broke in.
Sad that he was actually the one who probably cared more for you than the stream of low-life parasites
floating/fleeing/screaming/ranting/partying
in the smelly/dirty/noisy housing they occupied with you.
And it all was too familiar and that's why I could name it.
Now all that remains is them
responding to those urgent phone calls from authorities
trying to find your family members
that they don't really know.
They are all that is left.
You are gone.
I wish that I was indifferent but I am actually sad.
This is how you ended.
Sometimes I watched as you left with some of these
made yourself pretty
laughter.
I am sad that you know peace now but in life never did.
You never knew what it was like to be clean
To have life staring full frontal in your face with all the beauty that it contains.

April is National Poetry Writing Month, 30 days, 30 poems, I'm already behind

The Challenge

It looks fun
Wow that was amazing
Let's do this,
you know we can do this
It's just a short time
You've done harder things
What if it's not cool..
Oh, woah...that killed it.
There was that spark and ooopsss.....
The dark just came in and squish
Ouch
It doesn't seem so fun anymore
Maybe it's not for me
Maybe it's time to think of something else
Pause
Fill in that big crack where the idea split
between something light and new and promising
To that familiar old crow
Cackling...making noise
harsh on the ears
piercing to the mind
silencing the light
the only thing to do is breathe between the space
create a deeper creavice
before falling down the hole, breathe
breathe in
the pause
the breath stops the fall
breathe more
make the breath go deeper
the breath filling in that space
breathe in more air
air fills the creavace with air
breathe
it's getting clearer now
breathe
the purpose the reason the air keeps filling and lifting
filling and lifting until there is light and lightness and floating
breathe
it's not that we don't all have monsters it's that we put some space between them and us
breathe
we all come back
breathe
we all have the challenges
breathe

Freedom

Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.
Viktor E. Frankl

I find myself with the need to create space for things.  And they're good things.  Like my life.  Life events, experiences and adventures.  It's been a long time coming.  I have finally discovered that while multi-tasking enables me to do a lot of things, it doesn't always enable me to complete them fully with the attention and care they deserve.

So my list got a little smaller.  These are big ticket items.  They can't be weighed lightly.  They are the expression of my soul's calling.  

Sometimes you have to choose....it's thinking that the choice is limiting somehow that diminishes our choices.  But truly, if I believe in an abundant and ever present universe that is constantly conspiring to give me all that I truly desire, then how can I choose poorly?  

I just made a smaller list.  

They're big things.

I just want to accomplish them fully, without missing a moment...

Spring

I grew up in a very restrictive, fundamentalist Christian household.  Many Holidays celebrated, including St. Patrick's Day, Easter, Palm Sunday revolved around different traditions in our household.  This time of year does bring fond memories back and also unpleasant ones.  Even as a child, I questioned a lot of what we did and what we believed, it was as though I really couldn't grasp or better, buy into what I was being told.  This did not bring out the best in me or make me very popular.   What it does is make me question what I'm being told, whether it's the "news", "facts", or "information".  Where is this coming from? Who is telling it?  Is this how life really is?  Is this coming from someone's perception and how is their emotional state, upbringing, life circumstances affecting their point of view.  Is this a point of view being touted rather than a factual recollection of events?  

For instance, If St. Patrick was known for driving the snakes out of Ireland, serpents being the ancient symbol for rebirth and ridding the old with the new of the early Pagan religions, the day celebrated by many Irish and Catholics takes a whole new meaning.  I have Irish heritage, raised somewhat Lutheran (which studies the Catechism) and celebrated Easter every year.   Do I then have to perceive the "evilness" of the organized religion that overtook many Pagan holidays and made them their own as a way of converting?  Is my wearing green symbolizing this?  Is my eating of those lovely Cadbury cream eggs full of corn-syrup mean the commercialization of Easter lessens the meaning of "Christ's Resurrection" meaning the Rabbit has won over Jesus?  Only if you believe that Jesus was resurrected that day.  Only if we want to believe only part of history, part of story and partial truth. 

This time of year, Spring, is a time of birth and renewal.  Flowers grow, leaves spring from the deadened trees, and animals are birthing their young.  Can I see renewal in my life?  What old beliefs or thoughts can I release to make room for new ones?  Do these traditions I uphold in my life today stand for something that I no longer believe in?  Can they evolve into something else?  Can I evolve into something else?  What do I make room for in my life?  

What can I contribute?

With the past, I have nothing to do; nor with the future.  I live now.  ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

 There is much going on in the world today.  It can be overwhelming sometimes the amount of tragedy and injustice that people are experiencing.  It can seem at times that there's a bad side and that the bad side is winning.

I can't conjecture the reasons behind if any for some of the problems.  What I mean by that is that I can't say that Mother Nature is having her wrath or that people are filling their karma or the evil of prior governments and decisions are making life miserable now. The blame game has gone on for as long as I've been alive and even before then.  Whether it's the devil or karma, "wrong actions" or choices, there's always a searching for some reasoning, some answers.  And sometimes there is none. 

Now is the time that matters.  Now is the time to stay in the present moment.  What is it that I can do?  What can I contribute?  What can I do to help now?  My opinion, my thoughts, the reasoning, the answers, all are irrelevant now.  This is the only time I have to do something.  Whether that something is different or necessary, those are judgments.  Am I contributing to a greater good?  Again, a judgment.  Are my actions helping someone, that is the important one.  And if I am aware, awake and alive in the present moment, I will be able to answer all according to the circumstances and reasoning of the moment.  

Let us not look back in anger, nor forward in fear, but around in awareness.  ~James Thurber