Freedom

Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.
Viktor E. Frankl

I find myself with the need to create space for things.  And they're good things.  Like my life.  Life events, experiences and adventures.  It's been a long time coming.  I have finally discovered that while multi-tasking enables me to do a lot of things, it doesn't always enable me to complete them fully with the attention and care they deserve.

So my list got a little smaller.  These are big ticket items.  They can't be weighed lightly.  They are the expression of my soul's calling.  

Sometimes you have to choose....it's thinking that the choice is limiting somehow that diminishes our choices.  But truly, if I believe in an abundant and ever present universe that is constantly conspiring to give me all that I truly desire, then how can I choose poorly?  

I just made a smaller list.  

They're big things.

I just want to accomplish them fully, without missing a moment...

Spring

I grew up in a very restrictive, fundamentalist Christian household.  Many Holidays celebrated, including St. Patrick's Day, Easter, Palm Sunday revolved around different traditions in our household.  This time of year does bring fond memories back and also unpleasant ones.  Even as a child, I questioned a lot of what we did and what we believed, it was as though I really couldn't grasp or better, buy into what I was being told.  This did not bring out the best in me or make me very popular.   What it does is make me question what I'm being told, whether it's the "news", "facts", or "information".  Where is this coming from? Who is telling it?  Is this how life really is?  Is this coming from someone's perception and how is their emotional state, upbringing, life circumstances affecting their point of view.  Is this a point of view being touted rather than a factual recollection of events?  

For instance, If St. Patrick was known for driving the snakes out of Ireland, serpents being the ancient symbol for rebirth and ridding the old with the new of the early Pagan religions, the day celebrated by many Irish and Catholics takes a whole new meaning.  I have Irish heritage, raised somewhat Lutheran (which studies the Catechism) and celebrated Easter every year.   Do I then have to perceive the "evilness" of the organized religion that overtook many Pagan holidays and made them their own as a way of converting?  Is my wearing green symbolizing this?  Is my eating of those lovely Cadbury cream eggs full of corn-syrup mean the commercialization of Easter lessens the meaning of "Christ's Resurrection" meaning the Rabbit has won over Jesus?  Only if you believe that Jesus was resurrected that day.  Only if we want to believe only part of history, part of story and partial truth. 

This time of year, Spring, is a time of birth and renewal.  Flowers grow, leaves spring from the deadened trees, and animals are birthing their young.  Can I see renewal in my life?  What old beliefs or thoughts can I release to make room for new ones?  Do these traditions I uphold in my life today stand for something that I no longer believe in?  Can they evolve into something else?  Can I evolve into something else?  What do I make room for in my life?  

What can I contribute?

With the past, I have nothing to do; nor with the future.  I live now.  ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

 There is much going on in the world today.  It can be overwhelming sometimes the amount of tragedy and injustice that people are experiencing.  It can seem at times that there's a bad side and that the bad side is winning.

I can't conjecture the reasons behind if any for some of the problems.  What I mean by that is that I can't say that Mother Nature is having her wrath or that people are filling their karma or the evil of prior governments and decisions are making life miserable now. The blame game has gone on for as long as I've been alive and even before then.  Whether it's the devil or karma, "wrong actions" or choices, there's always a searching for some reasoning, some answers.  And sometimes there is none. 

Now is the time that matters.  Now is the time to stay in the present moment.  What is it that I can do?  What can I contribute?  What can I do to help now?  My opinion, my thoughts, the reasoning, the answers, all are irrelevant now.  This is the only time I have to do something.  Whether that something is different or necessary, those are judgments.  Am I contributing to a greater good?  Again, a judgment.  Are my actions helping someone, that is the important one.  And if I am aware, awake and alive in the present moment, I will be able to answer all according to the circumstances and reasoning of the moment.  

Let us not look back in anger, nor forward in fear, but around in awareness.  ~James Thurber

Fires

I'm not sure how to start this one.  I have been on my spiritual enlightenment quest for a really long time.  Looking here and there.  Finding this and that.  Practicing my yoga on and off the mat.  And I have been guilty of becoming very preachy in my "enlightened positive thinking."  What I mean by that is when someone is going through a difficult time is giving a "boost" to their "mood" by encouraging (replace this word with overwhelming, reaffirming, reiterating) some sort of "think on the bright side" or "I'm there for you" or "find some gratitude" or "things will get better."  And while yes, sometimes people need to remember that or do those things, most of the time, what they need is to be listened to.   For a long time, I didn't get that.  I thought that my "wisdom" should be shared, especially if you were having a tough time with this life. 
Doesn't it tell us that life doesn't give you more than you can handle?  The universe is there for you, you just need to connect to it?  If we change the way we think we can change everything?

I do believe all of these things to be true.  Yes, we can change our lives by changing our thoughts and the power of the universe, the creative energy that created each of us is based in love and wisdom.  There have been really terrible times that I have made it through. 

But what I don't believe anymore is that a person in the middle of a crisis, let's say, a child who has been molested by a friend, a car accident leaving them with life altering injuries, a long and painful death of someone from a deadly disease, needs me to blow sunshine up their you know what.  They are in the middle of what I believe is FIRE.  Yes, we can call it the fire of transformation, the alchemy of changing one to the other, etc but it is essentially fire.  Oversimplifying is dangerous.  It leaves the person who is in the middle of fire feeling as though their thoughts and feelings are falling on deaf ears. 
And alone. 
Listening is something that I have been working on for a long time. 
When I had my house flood and become unsellable, my Grandmother have a stroke that would lead to the end of her life and "the one" tell me he wanted to end our relationship and quitting my job before I had another one in place in the span of a two week period of time, I was on fire.  And I was on fire because I had been telling myself that the universe would give me everything I wanted and then this happened. 
My experience has only given me the ability to see that what you walk through is fire. 
What I've seen sometimes in the yoga community and other spiritual communities is that we still have a tendency to grasp onto those "religious" ideas of blame and guilt:  "Well, they must have been holding some negative thought patterns;  She must have powerful samskaras; The universe must have something else for them in mind; They must be grasping on for so little when the Universe/God has everything to give them."

People walking through fire need fire extinguishers.  Those are listening ears.  Those are people saying "feel your feelings, call anytime you want to talk, I can't imagine what that feelings like and I am so sorry but I am here to listen, is there anything I can do for you today to help you out in anyway."  There's still going to be on fire, they're still going to burn, but understanding this comes a long way.  I didn't need someone telling me of all the mistakes I had made that led me to this point.  I didn't need to hear that things would get better.  How was my Grandmother dying going to get better?  It was a life experience that was painful.  Yes, she had a good long life, she was loved and loving, but really, she was dying and it was sad and it sucked.  I didn't need a metaphor for life interjected or a "this too shall pass."  I did, however, have a lot of people around who also were following the same path who attentively listened, gave affirmative prayer and acknowledged the truth of my feelings and my situation. 

Listen.....it's the most important practice that can be done.

Poetry

Many times in a yoga class I have either read poetry or quotes or had poetry read to me.  I went on Friday to an amazing slam poet Buddy Wakefield whose work really touches my soul.
 The past few days, that experience included, has really brought me into a new frame of consciousness.  I'm shifting paradigms here don't get crazy about the twenty-cent words, it's just a new shift and the last time I shifted and felt this sense of awe and wonder and excitement the world smashed and it was a little bloody and broken.  And I don't think it was that I was in line for the punishment and the karma but the universe had something bigger in mind and I was settling for the great un-great.   If you've ever settled for some great un-great, mediocrity doesn't describe it but good enough with bandaids stuck to it and some toothpicks holding it together with the smiles and nods you're getting from someone who you want to love you sounds familiar then you know what I'm talking about in this long sentence.  So the rubble which was my house upon the sand became the pathway to the place I stand today.  With the universe saying here's some new shoes and a key chain and a light, the rest is golden, enjoy the new ride. 

There is a universal song that is being sung in various notes and to various keys.  And I think we're listening in.  I think we're tuning in because it plays the chords on the strings that are found in the fibers of our very being and so we know the song to be true. Laugh, breathe, believe.....

Ideas for Peacemaking - as taken from the Peace Alliance Newsletter

Three Suggestions for Peacemaking in Your Own Life

1. If you have any internal judgements of anybody, politically or in your life, notice any judgments of “wrong or bad.” Then connect, “what are the deeper needs of mine behind those judgements?”
2. When you have disagreement with what others are saying (with politicians and media pundits, for example), see if you can empathize with the needs they are trying to meet, and see if there are ways you can relate to them.
3. If you are talking to someone who is expressing judgments -- that you either agree or disagree with -- try to reflect back and empathize with some of their needs.

These are paraphrased from Nonviolent Communication (NVC) facilitator John Kinyon.

Out with the old - in with the new?

One Love Newsletter 2011
As I reflect back on the past year there are more than a few things I've learned:

1.  I can do a lot.
2.  I get burned out doing a lot.
3.  I don't have to do everything.
4.  Sometimes opportunities arise and I don't necessarily have to take them.
5.  I would rather have peace that be "productive."
6.  I don't know when my last good-bye to someone is.
7.  I make up the rules most of the time and then I have to live by them.
8.  If I want more time with my friends or family, I have to give up something else, and this shouldn't be a hard choice.  Either way, I win.
9.  Maybe if I make my list smaller, I'd allow myself the opportunity to fully and completely dedicate myself to a task and feel more confident about my choices.
10.  Maybe if I look at my choices, I'd feel more confident about my life.
11.  Maybe if I feel confident about my life, I don't have to question my choices.
12.  If I believe in a universe that has a certain order to it and is constantly adjusting to that order, I wouldn't question those weird instances but look at them as "adjustments" to bring about a change.
13.  Maybe I could stop questioning the process and trust more.
14.  If I trust more, peace is in the process.

15.  This list could go on forever but it won't.

Happy New Year.

When you have come to the edge of all the light you have
And step into the darkness of the unknown
Believe that one of the two will happen to you
Either you'll find something solid to stand on
Or you'll be taught how to fly!

—Richard Bach