Monday, June 27, 2011


soaring above
some where.....

Sunday, June 26, 2011

World wide what?

I got spammed this morning on FB and luckily enough, removed it thank you friend.
But lately been feeling the pull to pull away from this internet thing.  Not just because there's these links to depression and spending time on the internet.  But it's a little too much.  Like yesterday, there's a local yoga studio that had over fifteen status updates on the FB thing all surrounding one event.  While this is annoying, it's an effective way of using their FB status to promote an event.   But how effective is it?  And how much time am I spending on looking at the FB statuses of friends, people I've come into contact with previously and are friends on FB, searching for things only to find stuff that is optimized better coming up first on Google search, etc.  Yes, the internet is a great tool, we all communicate better, but quite frankly it's also a sounding board for a lot of people who long to take their aggression and anger out on others.  Yelp, for instance, can be a helpful tool but it also has so much griping and unsubstantiated griping that really is hard on small business owners and gives a false idea of how good a business is.  One review I saw blatantly lied about a business practice and yet is still allowed online and figures into how a business is rated. We won't even go into the online posting boards, think craigslist, and see the horror going on there.
I run into people all the time that aren't on this internet thingy.   Some are stuck in the dark ages about things. But others, well, their life doesn't seem to be too much affected by their non-use of the internet and all things digital.  They deal with humans on a one-on-one basis.  They seem pretty ok and happy.  Hmmm....

Friday, June 10, 2011

Shades of Green

I fit the term "green eyed monster" a little too literally.  Lately, it's pervasive not just in eye color but in mental states as well.   And I have various reasons for it's justification.  Things not going so well, I can look towards the 'current state of blah-blah-blah and look at blah-blah and it's crappy that blah-blah and they don't deserve blah-blah' and well it's become the blah-blah-blahs.  Jealousy is a seldom admitted but often feeling that is so unattractive and leaves me petty and miserable.  And yet it disguises itself well.  Root of it, well, that's where the murkiness lies.  Insecurity, small mindedness, sense of some sort of loss, low self esteem, but ultimately it's roots are somewhere in 'I'm not enough-ness' and in that state, well, it's a sorry place to be.  But as humans, we can trace the roots of jealousy all the way back to infancy.  Studies have show infants as young as five months exhibit traits of jealousy
So what can I combat this with.  When I look around at the current state of blah-blah.  A gratitude list is one way.  Being grateful cultivates a state of happiness.  If there is something that I want in another person or circumstance, wanting it, not coveting it, creates a state of lack.  Can I adjust this to a feeling of 'this is something that I can attain and I am grateful.'   I'll get back to you on the rest, for now, the human experiment continues....

Wednesday, June 8, 2011


I just spent a great deal of time purging my inbox, sent items and trash from one of my emails.  Note the term 'one of my emails.'  I have several.  And it's all about to get a little less complex when I change my email address.  You see, in attending a bridal show where you have to give your email to win prizes, etc, they give your email address to EVERYONE.  So I have been getting regularly spammed by them and the rest of the wedding sites (i.e. David's Bridal, The Knot, etc) whose "partners" are also sending me emails.  I was going to change my email address anyway but this just prompts it to happen more quickly. 

In my former life, we used to keep emails.  We kept records of what other people sent us as it sometimes was necessary to create a 'paperless' trail of events that happened, find out who did what and when and why, and sometimes, letting people know that they were notified of said policy, event, etc and why didn't they do what they were supposed to.  The list is endless on why we kept emails.  Some even printed them out and starting keeping files.  I think now of what all of that information did.  And most of it did nothing.  One place in particular I can think of kept tremendous amounts of that information for naught.  The players are now all gone, the people who are there could care less and everything applicable to why we kept the information doesn't apply anymore.

In my current life, I have a bad habit of keeping emails in my inbox for a long time.  It starts with it's something I need to respond to.  Then in turns into a to-do list.  And then it becomes another thing I look at and wonder why I'm keeping it.  So today, I purged.  Deleted.  Removed.  Found all the things sent and deleted them too.  Unless it's something that I'm going to follow up on, then I need to follow up on it.  Today.  Not wait, not question, but follow up on it today.  If it's something I need to refer to later, such as an email from a film producer and I'm waiting to get a copy of said film I was in, then I file it in my "acting" folder.  Some day I'm going to purge those folders too.  Because someday, I'm not going to be here anymore.  My stuff is going to be someone's responsibility to clean up and get rid of.  They're going to wonder why it was important to me and what exactly did it pertain to.  I'd rather not have that burden of sifting through my junk be on someone's shoulders.  Because most of it won't matter any more. 

I think of old beliefs and thoughts that come up from time to time and do some purging there.  There's a big pattern of holding on to things.   Whether it's from family or not, it's my job to purge them.  It's my job to remove and put things in the trash.  I don't even have to examine where they come from or what they're doing, I can just delete.  Sometimes they are a little harder to delete and other times, it's like saying goodbye to a wart, thank you for nothing and see ya!  My active practice of reflection on and off the mat helps me do this.  I make room for other things.  Like freedom and space.  In my mind, in my life.  Room for peace. 

Monday, June 6, 2011

Is there competition?

My experience in the past few years is that it takes a lot of work, self-promotion and marketing to be a yoga teacher or run a yoga studio.  Like other jobs, there are a lot of people applying for the same jobs, as a number of yoga studios have discovered teacher trainings are a great way to make money.   Don't get me wrong, I think that it's incredibly hard to run a studio.  The expenses on just the building alone and utilities can be astronomical.  And the insurgence of corporate run studios churning out teacher trainees, even advertising "become a teacher in one week" makes it really difficult for the smaller studio to compete.  Or does it? 
While the rise of the corporate chains have brought more locations, more exposure to yoga and more opportunities for those teaching, smaller studios often have more seasoned and experienced teachers, a variety of styles of yoga and often more pay to teachers.  However, these generalizations don't always dictate experiences.  While attending a class at one of the chain studios, with teacher who probably had six months of experience, I experienced a deep savasana at the end of one of the classes where I went into that alpha-state of pure consciousness and non-attachment, true bliss.  And at a studio, a teacher with a lot of experience insisted I go into a headstand after I explained about my constant neck injuries resurfacing afterwards, insisting on instructing me the "proper way" and that I had been practicing it "wrong."  And yes, I was injured afterwards. 
When I was seeking my teacher training the first time, my values were how can I do this quickly and least expensively.  I also didn't want to wait on a waiting list to get in.  The cheapest and quickest took place over three months.  90 days.  And then I was done.  My values were different that what they are now.  Now, in my second teacher training, I want to learn specifically from a specific teacher that has amassed a large amount of knowledge over decades on the teaching and practice of yoga.  The training takes place over a period of two years.  My values have shifted.  The first time, I needed to finish quickly and least expensively.  Now I value the learning process over a period of time.  I will actually end up paying less that I paid for the original teacher training and I get the value of paying that over two years.
There is a value in each and every experience in life.  Whether it is learning something, the hard way, the easy way, whatever way or having an experience that you normally don't have.  When I open myself up for something new, I am inviting myself to take a step into the void and experience something that ultimately shows me something.  Wherever I find myself practicing.  If it's in a gym, corporate studio or a converted garage, I open myself up to the experience. 
And in terms of competition, I read this in my classes sometimes, it was a letter from Martha Graham to a friend:
"There is a vitality, a life force, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one you in all of time, this expression is unique.  And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and be lost.  The world will not have it.  It is not your business to determine how good it is; nor how valuable it is; nor how it compares with other expressions.  It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. "

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Susan Foxley Coming to San Diego

Susan Foxley is coming in June to do a workshop in San Diego for us.  Coming from the LA area, she is a life coach, yoga teacher and massage therapist.  I have been subscribing to her blog feed for a while.  You can connect to it here.  I find her simple yet effective suggestions for living life on life's terms to be insightful and authentic. 

I find that often times I am overwhelmed with the amount of information that comes to me, hundreds (wish I was exaggerating don't ever give your email out to a bridal show) of emails, blogs to be read, books to read, programs and movies to watch.  I am looking forward to an afternoon that doesn't require any of those things.